Meeting My Son For The First Time

Mad Man I was given that nickname for a reason.

He drove me crazy. Many a summer I believed I should have had him on some type of drug (him or me...I was so close calling my doctor for some help!). I have called my Pediatrician crying. This child has made me laugh, scream and has made me cry more times than I can remember.

Those who spend the most time with him believe he is a "funny, smart, amazing little kid." Until you see him pissed off. When this little guy gets mad, it's like watching a train wreck or worse a scene from the Exorcist. It can get that bad. He can be defiant, disrespectful, and straight out mean when he has gone over the edge.

And it can come out of nowhere.

There have been many times that I did not like him. But more often I did not like the person I was when I was around him. I felt like I was being beaten up emotionally by the bully on a regular basis. And even when that bully had a few good days, I couldn't see it. I knew the old "Mad Man" would return. I am so lucky to be married to my husband because he has supported me through all my crises with MMI, and we have worked together to try to keep situations to a minimum.

But bad days turn into weeks, weeks turn into months, and soon you have a seven year old who still cannot control his volume, who still cannot control his hands and still cannot control his anger.

These are typical Mad Man I behaviors over the past five+ years.

Constant motion
Running instead of walking
Inability to sit still
Inappropriate wiggling of legs/hands
Unresponsiveness to discipline
Unkindness to pets
Poor self-control
Destructive behaviors: throws, breaks things
Little or no recognition of danger to self
Inappropriate noises
Excessive talking
Loud talking
Interrupts often
Abusive behavior
Unpredictable behavior
Aggression
Perseveration/repeating of an activity
Touching things or people excessively
Chewing on clothing, other objects
Scratching, biting & picking at skin Low frustration tolerance
Frequent crying
Demands immediate attention
Irritability
Overreaction to touch, pain, sound, lights
Low self-esteem
Mood swings
Impatience
Distraction
Failure to complete projects
Inability to listen to whole story
Inability to follow directions
Difficulty writing, drawing
Dyslexia/reading problems
Resistance to going to bed
Difficulty falling asleep
Restless / erratic sleep
Nightmares, bad dreams

Sound a bit ADD, ADHD, or ODD (Oppositional Defiant Disorder)?

SURE THE HECK DOES!!! There are so many different situations out there, different stories, different kids, and different families, and I just knew and still know that medication is not what we want right now.

Why? First of all, he wasn't like it ALL the time. I would describe him like a time bomb and we had no idea when he would go off. Secondly, and more importantly, I had heard from friends that some drugs "take that sparkle" away. I couldn't have it.  I was in tears when one friend told me that. I could not take that magic from him. Hoping he "would grow out of it", I let another year go by, and no change in sight. He was still that ticking time bomb until 3 weeks ago.

Yes, we have found our answer.

more tomorrow...

 

Comments

[Jeff Turner]

I'm here to tell everyone that what has transpired over the last few weeks has been amazing. I'm blown away by the change that has taken place with Mad Man I!

[Chrisie Lim]

Waiting on pins and needles for the answer...

Hey, BTW, I am a Dyslexia Specialist and have been for 7 + years. The behaviors you are describing CAN go hand and hand with a reading /spelling/writing deficit, but not necessarily. The reading/spelling/writing part can be treat/remediated without any sort of drug or therapy (and should be in order for it to be effective). Email me if you have any ??'s and I can refer you to some good researched based websites that can help you with that part of the equation. There is hope for reading issues...and a lot of times when the academic issues are addressed appropriately, the behavior, self-esteem issues are lessened.

Chrisie Lim
Certified Professional Tutor
Dyslexia Testing Specialist
Mom of 6
Longtime Reader of this site ;-)
learningsuccess2003@yahoo.com

[Jane]

How can you keep us hanging like that? Concerned minds want to know.

[Mommy2MrPants]

Rocky -
That sounds a lot like my step daughter who is 5 1/2. She has been recently diagnosed with ADHD along with writing problems. Her mother wants to put her on meds (Stratera) and we are fighting for custody now. We don't think meds are the answer! Her father was diagnosed with Motor dysgraphia, dyspraxia and dyslexia as a child and has learned to overcome his obsticles without meds. Will you please email and let me know what is working for you?!
Thanks!!!