I am part of an amazing community of moms on a website called CafeMom. I wrote a post there informing some of my fellow Mutha's about a company called BeadForLife. I wrote about how I loved their products and gave some basic information about the beautiful necklaces that were made by Ugandan women. To me, it was a typical Rocky trying to make a difference post. Some moms thanked me for the information. Some posed the question, So while I think it's a noble effort to help the poor, why look so far away from home?
I labored over this question for hours. I gave birth to this post.
I know what I do here in the U.S. to help out the less fortunate. The key word being less fortunate. You can read HERE what poverty means in America. Poverty here in the United States does not equal poverty in third world countries. We, as Americans, are not poor because of genocide, drought, or being victims of war. There is no comparison. We are lucky to be Americans. We are lucky to have the ability to get financial aide from the government in the form of Welfare and Social Security. Third world countries do not have this luxury.
From Africa to Guatemala, there are families living off $1 a day, have no access to clean water, and cannot receive any medical care. That is a tragedy, not a misfortune.
If you are an orphan in the United States or living in foster care, by law a child has to go to school. In most African countries, it is a huge opportunity and a gift to be able to go to school. That is a tragedy, not a misfortune.
I am defensive over this issue because I have been attacked by those who disagree with my international adoption. "There are so many orphans here in the United States, why couldn't you adopt one of them?" is one of my favorite questions. Being orphaned in the U.S. is not even close to being orphaned in Liberia, Guatemala, or India. It is a life or death situation in these other countries. That is a tragedy, not a misfortune.
My daughter is living proof. The Mother to my eldest daughter worked washing clothes, seven days a week, making only $30 a MONTH. She was doing this alone and raising three children. Her husband left her after he got her pregnant. She could not feed her children. My daughter was fed soda and tortillas for the first 10 months of her life because her mother could not afford milk. My daughter could not sit up at 10 months old because she was so malnourished. Let's read that again... could not sit up at 10 months old. She could not form words or any real sounds when I brought her home at 18 months old. Her Mother had to separate all three of her children because she could not feed or shelter them. The eldest daughter was living with the grandmother, the middle daughter stayed with her, and she had to give up the youngest for adoption. There was no Welfare, no Social Security, no food stamps and no shelters for her to go to so she could remain with her children. That is a tragedy, not a misfortune.
We are the luckiest women in the world no matter what are financial situation is. We don't have the same fears as those mothers living in third world countries. If we are poor in the U.S, we worry about where we will live or how we are going to pay for the next meal. In the Democratic Republic of the Congo, for example, a mother worries about soldiers coming and raping her and her children every night. She worries about her sons being kidnapped and forced to be child soldiers, who will then be brainwashed to kill and rape other women. She worries about getting her hands cut off, her breasts cut off, and objects like knives, rifles and broken bottles shoved up her vagina because the soldiers thought that would be entertaining. She worries that her and her daughter will be impregnated by these soldiers. She worries about contracting AIDS from these monsters. She will then worry about dying from AIDS. That is a tragedy, not a misfortune.
My passion to help other Mothers will not be limited by the borders of our country. It doesn't matter where they are living. They love their children just as much as we love ours. There was no misfortune that put them where they are. It was something horrific and tragic.
So, I am sorry that all my efforts are not directed towards the poor in the United States. I do my part by donating clothes to domestic violence shelters and money to the food bank in my community. But in the depths of my soul, I believe if you are poor in the United States, be grateful still.
Because you don't want to be poor anywhere else.
This post was brilliantly done. I am positive that you made several people stop and re-think thier position on the issues at hand. Bravo, Rocky!
Posted by: Courtney | February 15, 2007 at 12:21 AM
Wow. Simply amazing is all I can say. Wonderful written and expressed passionately. Praise God for your blog! I agree with you 110%.
Posted by: Shannon | February 15, 2007 at 08:36 AM
As always Rocky.. written with great detail and strength. I am sorry for the people who don't agree with what you are doing.. they need to stop and rethink...I agree with you 100% and more!!
Posted by: Tracy | February 15, 2007 at 08:58 AM
I really believe that we are so cocooned here in the US that in order to actually understand the full impact of the reality of the situation, you physically have to leave this country and see the actual happenings yourself. Unfortunately too many people are unwilling to leave their comfort zones. It is my deepest hope that these close minded people will one day actually get and understand the message you are trying to deliver to them. As I have said before you need to be commended for all the strength and tenacity that you possess.
Much Love
Linda
Posted by: Linda | February 15, 2007 at 11:25 AM
Wow, Rocky. Its hard for me to understand why a person would criticize your choices at all. You do a hellavu lot more than most. Who you do it for and where is so totally your perogative. I, for one, would just like to say "Thank you". You are absolutely right about poverty having a very different meaning overseas. Having spent time in China and Nigeria, each time I came home with a greater appreciation for all the things I had taken for granted. Some people just dont know...
Posted by: TEA | February 15, 2007 at 12:49 PM
Right on, Rocky! A powerful response to poverty and fear in 3rd world countries.
You are an inspiration!
Posted by: Bridget Hull | February 16, 2007 at 06:43 AM
What an incredible post! I could not have said it better myself. Just the title - Not All Poverty is Created Equal. I am a freelance journalist currently writing a book about street children, orphans, and other vulnerable children in India. Visit my blog at http://weightofsilence.wordpress.com for more information. I visit India to work in orphanages and am often asked this question - why India? Why so far away? Like you, I do MUCH volunteer work and donate MUCH money to great organizations here in the US as well. But you point out so well, that being an orphan, having AIDS, being poor here in the US is a completely different thing than in India, or Africa, or Guatemala.
I applaud you for this post!
Posted by: Shelley Seale | February 20, 2007 at 07:35 AM
love this post, you are SO right! I'd rather be poor in the US than anywhere else in the world, and I said just that in the post I wrote in my blog:
http://lindasyoga.blogspot.com/2007/06/blog-post.html
Posted by: Linda | September 08, 2007 at 09:18 AM
My seven year old and I are interested in starting our own non-profit organization. But first we are doing a little research to see what third world country we should send our collections to. We want to start off with used clothes only but the thing is we need a connect, that is actually in that region to receive the packages from UPS. If anyone has a suggestion or if your in a third world country and are willing to help please e-mail me. Thank you and god bless,
Ms. Thompson
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